Your Representative is a Convincing Drunk

Oh guess what Citizens, ended up preforming the play and doing an amazing job entertaining the audience.

As my constituents, you should be so proud of me!

As the title says, I am a VERY convincing drunkard. It was a good thing my character was drunk too cause the way I was fighting was very crazy and realistic looking (supposedly). Good thing too, cause the only way I know how to theatre-fight is actually attacking my fellow representative actor.

P.S. My condolences to the loyal citizens of the representative of Arizona.

Oh Right, I Almost Forgot...

Oh, right, um...

Citizens, I forgot to inform you that the Social Security Bill, is not getting there. Definitely not maybe. Like, we are sure of it. We really had no time after that committee meeting to get into a second bill unfortunately.

Also worse yet, we couldn't even get into a bill.

Oh, double-worse, that Massachusetts representative put a rider down on our sentient robot rights bill (by the way we have a bill that talks about sentient robot rights). The rider being: Gay marriage is legal. It was accepted... all democrats voted for and all Republicans voted nay. You can probably guess how that turned out...

(BAD.)

Hopefully the Senate goes back to it's silly "we don't pass anything that comes our way" business and takes that bill down. Cause you know how I feel about rider bills! (HINT CITIZENS: I HATE THEM.)

Late News Everyone!

CITIZENS. Good news that I completely forgot to inform you of two or so weeks ago! Well, things turned out very fine because we ended up getting that assault and automatic weaponry bill passed! Basically the best news ever.

Well as for how that went over in the House, it went over fine, not like Massachusetts tried outright banning assault and automatic weaponry with an additional amendment. But guess what Massachusetts, NOT TODAY. The bill is perfectly fine, went through greaaat.

Social Security: GETTING THERE. . . MAYBE?

Yesterday Citizens, during the House Committee meetings, your very own Congressman was helping to enact some sort of bill regarding the Social Security issues of our country. Good stuff! So far there is still a consensus needed amongst the committee in order to make the bill, but we are getting there!


And if you are wondering about that other bill regarding assault/automatic weaponry. It is doing fine. And it will continue to be fine unless it doesn't get on the agenda, then it will be very not fine.

Good News Everyone!

So the committee of Oversight and Government Affairs has finally made a bill for the House and will be bringing it to the table in our latest session today! At least I hope we do.

Reason I say this now is because there is an excellent chance that since we didn't get through the entire agenda during that whole Tax Cut bill debate, we may not get around to it...

Still I must keep my loyal citizens informed!

Tax Cuts: No, just no...

Okay so the House is just absolutely ridiculous a majority of the time (ha! Democrat joke!) When a proposed bill for a new tax reform was created by one of the House Committees multiple ridiculous amendments were both made and not made unwittingly by the House.

It's bad enough that the Bush Era Tax-Cut are gone but for the love of god the is now a steady 5% tax on all people of lower class instead of a lowering tax in regards to a person's annual income. Yeah.... also 45% tax raise on higher class... I am so sorry  rich citizens you have no idea!


Times like these where I wish I had a copy of the bill to give you the most accurate information I could because basically during that entire session I was literally foaming at the mouth with rage and other strong words!

Signing off Citizens! Good night and good luck!

Progress on Othello

Citizens! I must say that the progress on the Othello play has been absolutely phenomenal! If there is one thing your Congressman adores, it is Shakespeare, and ranting. Oh... how your Congressman loves ranting...

So far there has been a considerable amount of concern on which part I should play! I feel like the valiant and noble Othello, but I've been told that I have the wondrous nefarious and evil amazing persuading skills of Iago! Going through a variety of scenes I have just perfect ideas for the play and how it should be ran!

It will be the best public relations gimmick plan ever!

Right to Bear Arms: DEFENDED

Good news citizens! While working in the Oversight and Government Reform committee, your Congressman has managed to sway those Democrats (who outnumber me and my fellow Republican...), a very proud day for the Republican party.

While the Democrats had zero respect for gun rights, we managed to allow the freedom to own assault/automatic weaponry. Oh sure... I know what you're saying, "But Congressman Katzner! Are you insane? This means regular people could own high powered weaponry and go out and rob banks." Absolutely ridiculous I say, because we would not allow that! Protecting the second amendment is what I'm completely for, but I'm also for keeping our banks not robbed. So therefore we came to a wonderful compromise (that weighed heavily on the Republican side), allowing there to be slight restrictions on such weapons.

In our committee we are beginning to plan out a bill, that while citizens like you will still be able to own your very prized assault and automatic weapons. You'll need to go through a registration process in order to own said very prized weaponry. The process itself we are believing to involve both a registration fee, and lengthy background check to make sure that the weapons themselves aren't going to some crazy bank robber with an intent on robbing banks with high powered weaponry. As Republicans, we don't necessarily support that. If all goes well the bill should be brought forth fairly soon. Wish us luck citizens!

Also on a side note:  
Really citizens?! RAND PAUL!? GOOD LORD, I KNOW HE IS REPUBLICAN BUT IF I WANTED PURE AWFUL IN OFFICE I WOULD HAVE LET MY EDITOR RUN.

House of Representatives Shenanigans

The amount of shenanigans and other happenstances going on in the House is absolutely ridiculous, it's like we can never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get out on time! I'll have you know citizens, that we stayed in later than expected because we were arguing about people who were against leaving on time! What?! If you ask me we really need to get focused on explaining the issues that are relevant to the people! I mean, for goodness sake, anytime there is a important issue with the people that is brought up by us Republicans, the Democrats shoot it down and move onto issues that are hardly worth discussing at that point in time!

Also once again the Democrats continue to have a brute force approach to achieving their agenda! Will wonder's never cease...

And don't get me started on committees, we spend all this time arguing about what topic and bill should go to which committee but you know what? What's that? You want this to go to that committee? Oh well I think it should go to this one... OH LOOK AT THAT WE JUST SENT IT TO BOTH COMMITTEES, PROBLEM SOLVED. I have yet to have been able to speak a good amount to my committee, (by the way, I am within the Governmental Affairs committee, citizens) and I would absolutely love it if we could spend less time arguing about mundane things and get started on the BIG PICTURE.

But do not worry citizens! Your will will be reached, I swear to you that the needs of the people will be met and that also my production of Shakespeare's Orthello will be so amazing you have no idea.

My editor is also telling me that this is a awful idea to post this rant, but the public needs to know!